


my ghost, where'd you go?

by eyes_glued_shut



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Weirdmageddon, Bill isn't the best spooky boy, Dipper accidentally has a ghost friend, Ghost Bill Cipher, I guess???, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paranoid Dipper Pines, Reincarnation, Soulmates, he also isn't helping Dipper's mental state
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-01-22 15:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12484836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyes_glued_shut/pseuds/eyes_glued_shut
Summary: Dipper (unwillingly) messes around with an Ouija board, and ends up with a rather annoying ghost following him around.He is both mad and confused, because all Bill wants is a friend, and Dipper's too much of a wimp to show him the light.





	1. sad eyes, bad guys

Halloween was probably Dipper’s favourite holiday. From the candy to the costumes and the spooky ghost stories people told him, it was the best time of the year. He had plans tonight to meet up with Wendy and her friends at the cemetery and hang out… after he went trick or treating with Mabel, obviously. This year their costumes were based from _Grease_ , Mabel’s recent obsession. She was dressed as Sandy, and Dipper was forced to be one of the T-Birds. (He wasn’t going to be Danny - that would be weird.) Mabel had even taken the time to help Dipper slick back his hair, so he could really get into character. He was still extremely self-conscious about his birthmark, but Mabel gave him the thumbs up that he looked okay and he felt a little better. (A little better still didn’t stop him from having a full blown anxiety attack in the bathroom, wondering if he should even go out this year. He did calm himself down though, and told himself that his thoughts were irrational and he could just come home if it got too much.)

The twins informed Stan and Ford that they would be back before 9, so Mabel could watch the Halloween episode of _Ducktective_ with Stan. It also gave time for Dipper to sneak out to meet up with Wendy and her friends. They were going to hang out at the cemetery, and Wendy had told Dipper if he didn’t come along she would let _everyone_ know about Dipper’s secret diary she heard about. It fuelled Dipper’s paranoia that Wendy had read the mentioned secret diary, but he then reminded himself that Mabel existed. And Mabel liked to tease Dipper about _everything,_ and that was probably how Wendy found out about it.

Candy and Grenda arrived at the shack just after 6, dressed up as other characters from _Grease_ that Dipper sort of knew, but didn’t want to get the names wrong and make a fool of himself, so he didn’t greet them as the characters. They both complimented Dipper’s outfit, telling him that he looked cute in a weird way. Dipper blushed, nodded, and then lead the way out.

 

They got back around eight, which gave the girls plenty of time to search through their bags to swap whatever candy they didn’t like with each other. This also gave Dipper time to sneak off upstairs, freshen himself up before telling Mabel what he was doing.

“Don’t summon any ghosts, Dip!” Mabel called out, and Dipper laughed in response. He walked down the road and into town, seeing Wendy waiting for him. They said their hellos, Wendy complemented Dipper’s outfit and they headed for the cemetery.

The two walked into the cemetery, seeing the rest of the gang already there, sitting by some graves. As soon as they all saw Wendy and Dipper, they cheered. Dipper couldn’t make out if anyone was dressed up or not, but he felt like he looked cool in his outfit, and he also didn’t have time to change.

“You guys took your time,” Robbie said, scooting to the side to make room for the two in the circle. “Thompson told a lame ghost story whilst we waited for you both. But now that you’re here…”

Lee and Nate rummaged through their bags, before they pulled out a box and candles. “We got an ouija board!” They called out in unison, laughing loudly.

 “Woah, what?” Dipper’s eyes widened. “Isn’t it, like, against the rules to play it in a cemetery…?” He asked, glancing over at Lee, who was lighting up the candles. Nate was setting up the board.

 “Duh, that’s why we’re doing it,” Tambry said, pausing her texting to roll her eyes at Dipper. “Well, _I’m_ not doing it. Someone’s gotta record it in case one of you gets possessed or something. My bet’s on Thompson.”

 “Hah! Fifty bucks says that Thompson _won’t_ get possessed!” Wendy exclaimed, holding her hand out for Tambry to shake. She did so, and went back to texting.

 “So who’s in? Tambers is recording, Wendy, you playing?” Nate asked, placing the planchette on the board.

 “I don’t mess with that sorta stuff. I’m out, guys,” Wendy said, putting her hands up and shaking her head.

“Guess it’s just the guys then! Hah!” Nate said, watching as Lee surrounded the board with candles.

The guys all sat around in a circle, each holding part of the planchette. They circled it around the board a few times, before they stopped. Everyone looked at Dipper. He felt like he was sweating more than usual, especially as last time he messed around with one of these he had to get his great uncle to cleanse the air _several times,_ as the demon he summoned wouldn’t leave him alone.

“You’re into weird shit like this. You start it off,” Robbie said, and Dipper rolled his eyes. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“Are there any spirits here with us tonight?” Dipper asked, feeling a chill go down his spine as the piece moved quickly to ‘yes’. Thompson took his hands away quickly, shaking his head and saying that he wasn’t doing it. Dipper held back from saying he had broken another rule.

“Are you the devil?” Robbie asked, earning yells from Lee and Nate. The piece circled around the board for a bit, before going to yes.

“Dude? Why did you have to ask that?” Lee exclaimed, glaring at Robbie.

“Well it’s better than asking it lame questions,” Robbie replied, rolling his eyes. The piece then moved, spelling out “L O L. JOKING.”

Dipper sighed in relief, and so did everyone else. He then asked, “What’s your _actual_ name?” and everyone watched to see what it would spell out. The ghost spelled out the name William, and Wendy shone her light from her phone at the surrounding graves, seeing if it was a spirit from some dead person they were near.

“I don’t see a William anywhere- ah! Here!” She stood up, walking over to the grave to brush off some moss that was covering the surname. “William… Cipher? Ask it if that’s the right name!”

“Are you William Cipher?” Nate asked. The piece moved to yes. Lee immediately took his hands off.

“This is way too creepy. Someone’s gotta be controlling it…” Lee said, looking at Robbie suspiciously. “Is it you? You were here before all of us… You probably looked at the graves and now are playing a prank on us!”

“No way! Why would I be the one doing that?” Robbie took his hands off the piece too, just to prove his point. “Ask him another question.”

“Uh… What year did you die in…?” Dipper asked, glancing over at Wendy to fact check to make sure this was real. The piece moved to the numbers, and spelled out ‘1969’. Nate snorted at the number. “Wendy, did he die in 1969?”

“Yeah. This… This thing’s legit. Woah, he was only 19… That’s pretty young,” Wendy said, moving back to sit with the rest of the gang. She was a little creeped out now. “Ask him how he died…”

“That’s probably not a good idea-”

“How did you die?” Nate asked, interrupting Dipper. The board was silent for a little while, before Nate asked again, a little louder this time. The piece moved slowly, almost like the spirit was hesitating… or nervous. It finally spelled out the word ‘suicide’, and Nate took his hands off.

“Suicide? Was that even a thing back in the 60’s?” Robbie asked, causing Wendy to shove him.

“Of course it was, idiot. Someone needs to play with Dipper - he can’t play alone,” Wendy said, pointing to the board. Dipper looked down at his hands and oh, he was the only one left playing.

“Yeah, can someone else just at least put their hands on the piece?” Dipper asked, looking around at everyone. The piece went to ‘no’ quickly, and someone gasped. Dipper looked down at the board with a frown. “...Was that a no to wanting anyone else to play or a no to no one else _wants_ to play?”

The board spelled out the words ‘YOU ONLY’, and Dipper felt another chill go down his spine. He took a deep breath and moved so he was more comfortable. _This is a bad idea, Dipper. It’s against the rules to play alone..._

“... At least help me ask him some questions,” Dipper said, a little worried that the spirit only wanted _him_ to play.

“I’m looking up a record of people who’ve died here. I wanna see if there’s a picture of him online,” Tambry said, the clicking of her nails against her phone was the only thing heard for a few moments, before she said, “oh, he’s kinda cute.”

“There’s a photo online? How is that possible?” Wendy asked, as Tambry shrugged and showed the group the photo. She was right. He was cute. The picture looked like it came from a newspaper, as there seemed to be text above and below the photo. The guy had hair that was very obviously curly, but it was slicked back, odd strands falling down onto his forehead. He was grinning, a cigarette in his mouth. He wore a mismatch of clothes, from a leather jacket to a white t-shirt and suspenders underneath. His pants were rolled up at the cuffs and had black boots, unlaced on his feet.

“Maybe they uploaded one when they went through the archives or something? I know there’s a record of everyone who has been born and has died in Gravity Falls at the library. They could’ve found the article written about his death and put it online?” Dipper explained. Everyone looked at him weirdly. “What? Am I not supposed to know that?”

“Heh, and I thought Thompson was the weird one,” Lee said, nudging Thompson with a laugh.

Thompson rubbed his arm lightly and looked at the board, the piece circling around. “Should we asked him more questions?” He asked.

“Yeah, he’s probably bored. Uh… What’s your favourite colour?” Dipper asked, watching the piece stop. It spelled out the word ‘YELLOW’. “Yellow is a nice colour…”

“Ask it when will I die!” Robbie said, moving closer to the board.

“Alright… When will Robbie die?” Dipper asked. The piece didn’t move for a bit, before it went to spell out ‘IDK’.

“Aw man, that’s lame,” Robbie mumbled, sitting back next to Tambry.

“You should ask him to show himself to us,” Wendy suggested, looking around to see everyone else agree. Dipper took a deep breath.

“Can you show yourself to us… please?” Dipper asked, and nothing happened. He waited for a few moments before asking again. “Can you show yourself to... me…?”

Nothing happened.

Dipper looked over at Wendy with a small shrug, before turning back to look at the board. He saw a flash of white, sitting in front of him and he widened his eyes.

“Shhh, pretend like I haven’t shown up!” The ghost, William, said, a playful grin on his face. Dipper felt his whole body go cold as he nodded a little. “Ask me what my favourite animal is.”

“...What’s your favourite animal?” Dipper asked, watching William move the piece to spell out ‘HIPPO’. The ghost looked exactly like the photo, so he knew it was the real deal.

“A hippo? That’s… unique?” Nate said, glancing at the board, and then to Dipper. “Any reason why, Mr Spooky Ghost?”

“Hippos are cute. I saw some guy look up a photo on the internet of them when I was floatin’ around here once,” William explained. He pushed the piece to ‘no’, answering Nate’s question. He then started looking Dipper up and down. “What’s that on your forehead?”

“A birthmark,” Dipper said, before remembering that no one else could see or hear William. He cleared his throat. “D-Do you have any birthmarks?” The piece went to ‘no’. WIlliam laughed at Dipper’s lame question.

“That’s a dumb question, let me talk to him,” Robbie said, moving to sit exactly where William was sitting. He placed his hands on the piece and frowned. “Is it me or is it really cold?”

“It is October, Robbie. It’s gonna be cold,” Wendy said and rolled her eyes. Everyone laughed, and Robbie glared at them all.

William also laughed, before floating away from Robbie to sit next to Dipper. “Pretend you can’t see me for my next trick, ‘kay?” He said, and Dipper just nodded.

Robbie’s eyes widened, and he pointed at the space next to Dipper. “C-Can you guys see that?” He asked, shaking slightly.

“See what? There’s nothing there, Robbie,” Tambry said, looking over at where he was pointing.

“There’s a ghost! H-He’s dressed the same as Dipper! A-And looks like the picture Tambry showed us!” Robbie exclaimed, before moving backwards. “Can none of you see him?” 

Everyone - even Dipper - shook their heads.

“G-Go away! Go away!” Robbie squeezed his eyes shut, and when he opened them, William was gone. Dipper could still see him, and heard William laugh loudly.

“Boy! What a weirdo!” Bill said, slapping his knee. Of course, his hand went straight through his knee, but it was the thought that counts.

“We should all probably leave now,” Thompson said, a little spooked out by all that.

“I should probably say goodbye…” Dipper said, both to the group and to William. He started to move the piece to ‘goodbye’.

“Wait, don’t go… You were fun to talk to…” William said, frowning at Dipper. He placed his hands back on the piece and moved it straight to ‘no’.

Dipper sighed. “William, I have to go now. The game needs to end,” he said, moving the piece back down to the bottom.

William didn’t want the game to end, so he kept moving the piece around in a triangle shape quickly. He didn’t want to go back to floating aimlessly around. He wanted to keep talking to people his age and dressed kind of like him.

“William. Stop it. Goodbye.” Dipper forced the piece to go through the ‘goodbye’, and the game ended. He glanced to the side of him, and saw that William had gone. He took the planchette off the board, and Nate began to pack it away. He wiped his forehead awkwardly, worried that he had been sweating so much it was noticeable. He got kind of scared at the end of that.

“That got scary at the end,” Lee said, blowing out all the candles. “You might wanna get rid of that thing.”

“Nah, what if we wanna talk to him again?” Nate asked. “He seemed cool. Besides, Dipstick closed the board down. The spirit is gone.”

Dipper nodded. At least, he hoped that that was right.

Dipper said his goodbye to the group, and started to go home to the shack. He managed to sneak in without getting a lecture from either Stan or Ford, and walked slowly up to the attic. He didn’t want to wake them up, especially this late at night. He got into his room, closing the door behind him slowly and sighed. He was exhausted. He fell down on his bed, not noticing the books on his shelves had all fallen off.

 

Dipper awoke later in the morning than what he would’ve wanted, and as he sat up he was aware that his room was _a mess._ He looked around, frowning. His clothes were thrown out from his closet, his books tossed about without a care. His desk was also messier than usual, and sitting on his chair was a familiar looking ghost. He blinked a few times, hoping it was the light playing tricks on him. When the ghost didn’t leave, he frowned.

“Why are you here?” Dipper asked, a little irritated. “And why the _hell_ did you ruin my room?” He hoped that he was still asleep. Maybe he was paranoid that the ghost _did_ follow him home that he just imagined it up.

“You left me. So I followed you home,” William said, examining his nails boredly, before floating through the chair and getting close to Dipper. “I would help to pick ‘em all back up, but I wasted a lot of energy on destroyin’ your room.”

Dipper groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “The game ended, William, you needed to leave us alone. Why did you even follow _me_?” He stood up, releasing he slept in last night's clothes. He began to pick everything up, a little annoyed at Bill.

“You looked like one of my friends, so I followed you. Then I remembered it was Halloween and you’re probably just dressed up in 50’s fashion…” William said, sitting on Dipper’s bed. He sounded sad, as he watched Dipper walk around the room. “And call me Bill, please. William makes me sound formal and I ain’t about that life.”

“Alright then… Bill. I’m… uh, Dipper? Did I tell you that? I can’t remember,” Dipper said, shoving a handful of clothes back in his closet. “Are you gonna leave me alone now or…?”

“Nah.” Bill laid back, floating on his back. “I haven’t taken a liking to a human in a while. Also, you’re cute. If you were born in the fifties I’d be all over you!”

“Wasn’t it, like, illegal to be gay back then or something?” Dipper asked, looking back at Bill. He started to put all his books up on his shelf, arranging them into alphabetical order. He didn’t know why he was still talking to Bill, nor why he was even acknowledging that Bill was here.

“Mhm, it was a wild time, the fifties. Anyway! Dipper, where are all your buddies from the cemetery?” Bill asked, sitting up and floating towards Dipper. “They were cool. I miss them.”

A knock came from the door, and Dipper told whoever it was to come in. Ford was the one to open the door, and he widened his eyes at the state of Dipper’s room.

“Is everything alright, Dipper?” Ford asked, seeing Dipper nod quickly.

“Yeah! Everything’s good. I just… had a bit of a breakdown… last night,” Dipper said, half lying. He watched as Bill floated towards Ford, nodding in approval.

“Oh, he is _hot_. Is he your granddad or something?” Bill asked, floating around Ford, going through the wall as he did so. “Man, I’d love to be in a sandwich between you two! If you know what I mean!”

“Did you need something, Grunkle Ford?” Dipper asked, putting up the last of his books on his shelf. He internally cringed at what Bill said, glaring softly at the ghost. Bill raised an eyebrow at Dipper, a little peeved that he _ignored_ him.

“Oh, yes, we’re all going to the diner for a late breakfast. Would you like to come with us?” Ford asked, and Dipper gave him a small nod in return. “Alright. We’ll be leaving in about ten minutes. Also… if anything’s bothering you, you can always talk to me.”

“I-I know. I’m fine, I promise,” Dipper said. And with that, Ford closed the door, and left.

Bill raised an eyebrow at Dipper, laying on his back in mid air. “What was that all about? A breakdown?”

“None of your business…” Dipper said, then frowned. Maybe Bill was simply a by-product of his anxiety attack he had last night? He did feel a little paranoid that people would laugh at him for his costume. Maybe he just imagined Bill - a man born when this type of fashion was at its peak - in order to help him feel more confident. Yeah, that’s it. Dipper also hadn’t taken his meds today, so that probably helped cause a hallucination.

“Tell me! I wanna know!” Bill whined, following Dipper out of his room and to the bathroom. He watched Dipper brush his teeth, freshen up and take his meds. Dipper turned around, hoping not to see Bill now.

But no.

Bill was still there. Floating in front of him. A strand of Bill’s hair fell down against his forehead and Dipper groaned loudly.

“Go away! You aren’t real and I know that!” Dipper exclaimed, throwing his now empty pill bottle at Bill. It went through his stomach, bounced back off the door and landed on the floor. “Go away!!”

“What..? I’m real, kid… And I can’t go away. Your friend opened up the board again and didn’t close it down when you left. I’m stuck here,” Bill said, picking up the pill bottle for Dipper. “I’m here forever now!”

“No… No! I closed the game down! You have to be a figment of my imagination! Wake up, Dipper. Wake up!” Dipper slapped his face a few times, before looking in the mirror. He had to be imagining Bill. It made no logical sense if he wasn’t! “Go away, Bill! Please! G-Go haunt Robbie! He deserves to be haunted! Please, just leave _me_ alone!”

“I can’t go away, kid. The blond guy from last night came back and played the game. But the sucker didn’t shut the game down properly!” Bill explained, noticing Dipper was shaking… a lot. “You okay?”

“But _why_ did you follow me? H-How did you even follow me if Nate played it once we all left?!” Dipper exclaimed, tugging at his hair. “You need to go haunt Nate, not me!”

Dipper heard his name being called from downstairs, and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, before leaving the bathroom and joining his family downstairs. Bill followed him, of course, but Dipper was just going to pretend that Bill wasn’t there.

 

The Pines family arrived at Greasy’s diner a while later. Dipper was trying his best to ignore Bill, who insisted on sitting on his lap when they were in the car. He made rather rude comments about Mabel and Stan, and Dipper was annoyed that he couldn’t yell at Bill. That wouldn’t help his mental state at all. By the time they had ordered food, Bill had already laid on the table, laid on an elderly woman’s lap, tried to stand on Stan’s head, all in an attempt to distract Dipper.

And it worked. 

Dipper could hardly pay attention to what anyone was talking about, because he was worried Bill was terrorizing some poor guy in the kitchen or something. Mabel seemed to notice Dipper was acting odd, and when Stan and Ford were arguing about something stupid, she gently tugged on the sleeve of his hoodie and frowned.

“Dip, are you okay?” She asked, finally getting Dipper’s attention. He nodded, faked a smile, and kept on looking around for Bill. Mabel sighed, cupping Dipper’s cheeks and forcing him to face her. “Hm… You’re eyes look like something’s gone missing. What’s up, Dip Dop?”

Dipper looked at Stan and Ford, and they were too deep in their argument about the price of waffles here. They wouldn’t hear him if he told Mabel what happened. “We… messed around with an Ouija board last night - Lee and Nate’s idea! We spoke to a spirit, I closed the board down but when I left they opened the board back up and didn’t close it down and now the ghost is here and he’s following me and I don’t know what to do!” Dipper said, holding onto Mabel’s arms.

“Mason Pines, what did I tell you _not_ to do last night?” Mabel said, and Dipper sighed. He knew he was in trouble when Mabel used his actual name.

“Don’t summon any ghosts,” Dipper mumbled, looking down at his lap.

“And _what_ did you do?”

“Summoned a ghost.”

Mabel sighed, placing her head on the table. Bill floated next to Mabel, and lifted some strands of her hair up.

“I take everything I said back. I like this one. Also, can I show myself to her? She’s cute. Why are your family so cute, Dipper?” Bill asked, looking at Dipper with a grin.

“Shut up…” Dipper mumbled under his breath, as Bill laughed and made his way to sit back on Dipper’s lap. Of course, he couldn’t feel Bill’s weight, but his body went cold and he was face to face with whiteness. Now that Bill was up close, Dipper noticed there was golden outline surrounding Bill, and he smelled faintly of smoke and alcohol he once tried when he went to a party.         

 “What was that? Didn’t quite hear ‘ya, Dips!” Bill poked Dipper on the nose and laughed loudly. Dipper scrunched his face up at Bill, and rolled his eyes.

 Their food soon arrived, and Bill made sure to make comments about what everyone was eating, even though Dipper was the only one who could hear him. Bill then rambled on about how good pineapple upside down cake that his grandma used to make was, before sitting between Dipper and Mabel, watching Dipper eat. Dipper almost forgot Bill was there until he felt his shoulder go cold, and realized Bill had fallen… asleep…? Could ghosts even sleep? Ugh.

 

He needed to go yell at Nate for reopening the board.


	2. mouth full of white lies

School came back around and Dipper was dreading it. Sure, being in Gravity Falls was  _ a lot _ better than being at school in California, but he now had a ghost following him around, which just added to his problems. 

His morning and evening routine was rushed, trying to get to bed before Bill could bother him. He would also forget to take his meds at night and his actual,  _ useful  _ meds in the morning. Oops. 

 

All throughout the day, Bill would do and say stupid things, like how he floated around the room, telling Dipper other people’s answers to the tests he did. Or how during the physics lesson he knocked over a few stacks of textbooks, and Dipper (being the nice person he is) offered to stay behind to help pick them up. Which made him late to lunch, and caused Mabel to panic. Which also caused all her friends to panic, and Dipper felt bad for making them worried. 

In short, Bill was ruining his life. 

He sat next to Mabel, watching her push around the mashed potato the school was serving for lunch with her fork as she spoke to Candy and Grenda about some new boyband she had heard of. Bill was floating around the cafeteria, looking at everyone and their food. He then saw the kitchens, and went over there. Dipper was typing a message to Wendy on his phone, asking her what had happened when he left the cemetery on Halloween.

_ [To: Wendy] _ _   
_ _ Did anything happen when i left on halloween??? Like, ghosty stuff???? _

_ [From: Wendy] _ _   
_ _ Ghosty stuff? Nate and Robbie messed around with the ouija board again, but that’s about it i think, idk, i was kinda tired at that point. Why?? _

_ [To: Wendy] _ _   
_ _ No reason. _

So they might’ve messed around with the Ouija board again, which would have caused Bill to come out again and… haunt him? But why him? It didn’t make any sense, and he couldn’t just ask Bill, either. Ugh. 

The bell rang, signalling that the end of lunch was over. Dipper was quick to stand up and make his way to his next class, determined to lose Bill in the cafeteria, and hopefully lose him forever. He couldn’t see him when he left, and by the time he got to the classroom he was praying that Bill wouldn’t search for him and go back being dead. 

 

That wasn’t what happened. 

 

Bill didn’t know why, but he had some sort of… connection with Dipper. It was like they were meant to be together or something. Bill felt like he needed to look out for him, at least for a little while… When he got back out from tormenting the dinner ladies, he noticed that Dipper had left the cafeteria. Huh,  _ rude. _ He looked around at the few remaining people in the room, and saw Dipper’s sister. Mabel, was it? He floated over to her and her friends, and frowned.

“I really think something’s up with Dipper. He told me he could see this ghost dude the other day,” Mabel said, putting her bag on her back and sighing. A girl with blonde hair frowned.

“You sure? The last time I heard him mention anything about ghosts was when he got rid of the one that was haunting the manor,” the blonde girl said, walking with Mabel to class. Bill followed behind them, determined to know more.

“But surely if he saw a ghost, everyone else could see it?” Mabel said, glancing at the girl. 

“Doesn’t work like that! Ugh, why can’t people understand that?” Bill groaned, laying on his back as he floated behind the girls. “I’d love to be able to talk to you but the Ghost Law prevents me from doing so...aaaand I’m talking to myself.”

The girls had entered a classroom without Bill realizing. Great. Now he had no idea where Dipper or Mabel were. With a sigh, he floated down onto the floor and waited for the school day to end. 

 

Dipper made it through the rest of the day without any hassle from Bill, which was great! Not so great for his mental state, though. As the school day ended, he and Mabel walked back to the shack, talking about their day and the huge amount of homework the both of them had. Mabel made no comment about Bill, which was good. It was also even better because all the way home, he didn’t even see Bill!

Until he walked upstairs to his room. 

And there he was, sitting at Dipper’s desk, clicking a pen quickly. Bill dropped the pen and widened his eyes at Dipper. “HEY!”

Dipper groaned, slammed his door shut and threw his bag down on his bed. “Why are you still here? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Bill shrugged, spinning around on the chair he was sitting in. “No idea, kid. I lost you earlier, so I came and waited here for you!”

Dipper sat on his bed with a small huff, and hid his face in his hands. “If you really are in my head, there’s gotta be a reason...right? I-Is it because I’m not taking my meds? Is that why you’re still here?” He asked. Bill floated to the bathroom, and came back with Dipper’s anxiety medication.

“Are these the ones? There were two other bottles, but I saw you labelled this one with ‘anxiety’ so I just assumed,” Bill said, handing Dipper the bottle. “How many days have you missed? I heard you can just take that many pills and it’ll be fine.”

“Doesn’t sound healthy. I’m not doing that,” Dipper said, twisting the bottle nervously in his hand. “The other two bottles are for helping me sleep and antidepressants. I… don’t like taking the latter, so I just… pretend I do.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good idea,” Bill said, sitting beside Dipper. Dipper’s left arm went cold. “You savin’ them up for a rainy day? That sounded like what I did.”

“I… no. I wouldn’t do that…” Dipper mumbled, setting the pill bottle down. “Are you really real?”

“I mean, I’m dead. That’s as real as I can get,” Bill said with a laugh. Dipper looked at him oddly. 

“Why can’t other people see you?” 

“No clue. Maybe we’re connected in a special way~” Bill wiggled his eyebrows. Dipper scoffed and looked away. 

“I doubt that…” Dipper mumbled, getting out his homework from his bag.  _ Bill is obviously a product of me not taking my meds… right? There’s gotta be side effects when you skip a few days. It’s the only logical explanation… Good job, Dipper! You’re real good at this! Thanks, Dipper! _

With that thought in his mind, Dipper started his homework.

  
  


It had taken Dipper about two days after the talk with Bill to flip his shit in front of his family. School had been stressing him the fuck out, and with the added torment of Bill, another breakdown was bound to happen. 

He just didn’t think it would be so soon.

He had spoken to Nate, who told Dipper that he didn’t remember what happened after he left. Apparently the gang got drunk and most of that night was a blur to him. Which really helped Dipper believe he was hallucinating. Bill had also been elsewhere for a while, and he hadn’t seen the ghost in ages, so that only fuelled the idea that Bill was part of his mind. It also didn’t really help that it had almost been a week since he stopped taking his meds. He became real angry rather quickly, and liked to shut himself away from his family. But that wasn’t important.

What was important was pretending he had his life under control in front of his family. 

His family, sitting around the dinner table, eating the food Mabel and Stan made for dinner. 

His family, that  _ did not  _ involve Bill.

So why was the ghost there, floating behind Ford and poking his hand through Ford’s head.

He lost it. 

Bill had moved now, and was pulling stupid faces behind Stan’s head. He was also rambling on about how when he was alive his parents didn’t give a shit about home cooked meals or something like that. Dipper tried his best to ignore Bill, telling him to go away in his mind. If Bill was a figment of his imagination, he just needed to stop thinking about him. 

“Why are you ignoring me, Pine Tree?” Bill had asked, poking his head up from under the table, right where Dipper’s plate was. He stabbed his fork down harshly in between Bill’s eyes and stood up. “Yikes! I go away for a few days and  _ this _ is how I’m treated when I return? Rude!”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?!” Dipper yelled, tugging at his hair as Bill floated upwards. 

“...Dipper?” Mabel glanced at her brother, a look of concern on her face. “Is everything okay?” 

“H-He’s still  _ here _ ! He’s still here and I know he’s just part of my imagination but he  _ isn’t going away! _ ” Dipper shouted, throwing some peas from his plate at Bill. Bill just stayed still, watching the vegetables pass through him. “Go away again! Go back to being dead!”

“Who?” Ford asked, looking from Dipper to the place where he aimed the peas at. “Is there something going on?” 

“He’s just part of my brain and I’m so fucking annoyed at seeing a stupid guy follow me around and annoy me and… he’s not real. I know he’s not real…” Dipper let his hands drop to his side, and he felt the eyes of his family on him. 

“Dipper, are you sure that you aren’t going through--” Ford started, but Dipper shook his head quickly and cut him off. 

“NO! No, no! He’s right there!  _ Show yourself _ to everyone, please!” Dipper begged Bill. “Please!”

“...Kid, I can’t do that… It’s complicated and… I can’t show myself...” Bill whispered, watching Dipper hide his face in his hands and sit on the floor. He pulled his knees to his chest, letting out loud sobs.  _ Bill wasn’t real Bill wasn’t real Bill wasn’t real he isn’t  _ **_real_ ** _. _ Mabel immediately got up from her chair, and rushed over to Dipper’s side. Stan and Ford had no idea how to comfort him - ever since the twins moved here Dipper’s mental state seemed to be fine…

Mabel helped Dipper to stand, smiled sadly at Stan and Ford, before helping him upstairs. 

 

Bill felt… guilty. The last time he felt this way was when he saw his mother sob at his grave on his twenty first birthday. Seeing Dipper like that… he felt awful. But what could he do? He couldn’t exactly leave - the board was still open and he kind of liked Dipper. He also felt like he needed to be here with Dipper. It was odd. He watched him go upstairs and sighed, floating down onto the floor to sit. 

“Something’s wrong.” 

Bill looked at the two men, who had stopped eating. He knew the one on the left was called Stan, and the other was Ford. Ford was the one talking. 

“He hasn’t been acting right…” 

“It’s comin’ up to a year since he tried to…” Stan was talking now. He took a deep breath. “To kill himself… Do you think it’s because of that?” 

Bill’s eyes widened. Dipper… tried to do that? His hand went to the side of his head, feeling his bullet wound there.  _ Dipper…  _

“Maybe… I gave him some refills on his medication today. I trust him when he says that he’s been taking them… We should make sure he isn’t lying to us about that,” Ford said, pushing around a now cold egg on his plate. “I’m worried about him.” 

“We should call up their parents. I know they’re real busy but maybe they know what to do?” Stan suggested. 

Ford shrugged. “Maybe. Has he been going to therapy?” 

“...” Stan looked away. 

“ _ Stanley _ .” 

“He said it wasn’t helpin’ him so I would take him out to get ice cream and we would talk about stuff!” Stan exclaimed, looking rather helpless. “We were gonna tell ‘ya… If it ain’t working for him then I don’t see why we should force him to go.”

The two fell silent. Ford stood up with a sigh after a few moments, telling Stan that he was going to call up Dipper’s parents, and left the room. 

Bill looked down at his hands, remembering hearing his own family talk about his therapy sessions and how bullshit they were. Everything seemed too familiar and he was getting uncomfortable. Bill stood up, and floated through the ceiling to Dipper’s room. He needed to apologize as soon as he could. He didn’t want to ruin any chance of forming a friendship with Dipper.

“Dipper, I am really-”

Dipper was laying on his bed, a scrapbook in his hands. He seemed to be happier than he was earlier. Bill was glad - he didn’t like seeing people sad. Mabel sat at the end of Dipper’s bed, there to keep him from being alone with his thoughts. 

“He’s here again, Mabes,” Dipper whispered, glancing over to where Bill was floating. Mabel turned her hair, and glared at the empty space she saw. 

“Want me to tell him to go away?” She asked, and even though Bill  _ knew _ she couldn’t see him, he felt intimidated by her. 

Dipper squeezed his eyes shut, telling himself that Bill wasn’t real and that he wasn’t there. He shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I-I know he’s not actually there…”

Ouch. Bill’s dead heart hurt at that comment. He looked down at the floor, and sat down. Why did Dipper hate him so much? He seemed cool on Halloween night… 

“Is he still there?” Mabel asked, and Dipper nodded. “HEY! Ghost! Leave my brother alone! He’s already goin’ through a lot of shit and he doesn’t want you in his life!” 

Dipper sat up with a frown. “Mabel, please. He’s… not there anymore,” he lied, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“Really? Oh… That’s disappointing… I really wanted to yell at him,” Mabel said, looking at her brother with a small smile. “You feeling any better, Dip?”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah… Thanks, Mabes. You can go now if you want,” he said, awkwardly looking down at the floor. Mabel smiled, ruffled Dipper’s hair and made her way to the door. As she opened it, Dipper’s name was shouted from downstairs. With a sigh, Dipper stood up, and he and Mabel went downstairs. Bill made sure to follow close behind, too, just in case it was something bad. 

  
  


The conversation that took place in the sitting room that evening was one Dipper had been dreading for weeks. He had stopped going to therapy, deciding that getting ice cream with Stan and telling him lies about how he was feeling was way better than doing the same, but to some random woman he didn’t know very well. Stan had obviously told Ford about the therapy situation, which made Dipper feel quite annoyed. Because of that, Ford was going to be the one to take him to his therapy sessions each week. As much as Dipper liked Ford, he couldn’t help but get mad. 

He had also heard Bill tell him that the whole thing was bullshit and he should yell at them. 

So he did. 

Because listening to someone who probably didn’t exist was a good idea, right?

 

“Dipper, you’ve been acting different, and therapy will help you get the guidance you need to move on from certain events!” Ford said, and that was true. Dipper  _ knew _ he was right. But he didn’t want to agree.

“You don’t even know me! You don’t know how I’m feeling!” Dipper responded with a yell. Mabel tried to comfort him. Bill was cheering him on. 

“Dipper, I’ve spoken to your parents about it and it’s either therapy here or going back home.”

He would rather die than go back to California. In fact, he had tried to die in California, so surely that was a huge sign that he  _ didn’t _ want to go ‘home’?

“Woooah! Yeah! You tell him, Dip! Therapy sucks dick!” Bill cheered, patting him on the back. Dipper, for a moment, forgot Bill wasn’t real, and smiled up at him. Stan seemed to look over at Bill’s general direction, which made Dipper think that Stan could see him too.

“Bill gets me! He thinks that therapy sucks!” Dipper said, and folded his arms over his chest.

The Stan twins then exchanged a look, a  _ bad look _ , and Stan frowned.

“Who’s Bill?” 

“The… ghost. Wait, you guys can’t see him?” Dipper asked. They both shook their heads. Mabel was standing awkwardly next to Dipper, unsure on how to help. Dipper gestured to the empty space - Bill was floating there - next to him and frowned. “You looked over here though! Are… Are you sure you can’t see him? Or hear him?”

Ford took a few steps towards Dipper. “Are you sure you’re taking your meds? I want to believe you, Dipper, but I need to know that you aren’t producing something from your mind as a side effect.”

Dipper looked down at the floor. “I… I keep forgetting. I’m in such a rush in the morning I assume I’ll be fine and… don’t take them,” he said quietly. He heard Mabel gasp. 

“Dipper! You promised me you were taking them!” She exclaimed, looking at her brother with wide eyes.

“Psh, promises don’t mean shit, kid,” Bill said, placing a hand on Dipper’s shoulder.

“Promises don’t mean shit!” Dipper repeated, taking a step away from Mabel. “I’m doing fine without them!”

“Dipper, you’re obviously hallucinating. If we don’t get this sorted out it’s could turn into something serious,” Ford said, trying to reason with Dipper.

“I said I’m fine! I don’t need anyone’s help!” Dipper yelled.  _ Why couldn’t they understand? _

“I understand, Dipper. I’ve gone through what you have… They’re just being jerks,” Bill said, floating in front of Dipper. “Want to go upstairs and cry?”

Dipper nodded, and turned around to rush upstairs. 

He heard calls of his name, but he didn’t care.

 

Everything would be okay. Bill wasn’t so bad as he first thought. Bill  _ understood  _ him. 

 

Bill could be a friend...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is going in a different direction than i originally thought, i hope it makes sense cus my brain is feeling kinda fuzzy atm whoops.
> 
> anyway, im open to hear ur thoughts on this! is bill real? is he a product of dippers mind? who knows! i sure as heck dont!   
> leave a comment abt ur ideas cus that would be neat!!! :3


	3. low on self esteem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper learns about Bill's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres talk about suicide in this chapter. there isnt any actual suicide-ing happening but like,, putting that warning out there in case it makes people uncomfortable

Dipper hated therapy almost as much as he hated TV shows he loved getting cancelled. He hated having to spend an hour talking to someone he barely knew about all his problems. He liked when Stan would take him to get ice cream and ask how he was doing. He enjoyed that. He did not enjoy sitting in the waiting room, reading the posters pinned up on the wall. Shit like “you can always talk to someone about your problems” and “you matter!” It was all bullshit. He only mattered when he tried to kill himself. No one cared before then. He anxiously tapped his feet on the floor, his knee bouncing as he waited for him to be called through. The gentle hum of the heater and the soft ‘tick, tock’ of the clock were slowly driving Dipper to madness. He felt Ford’s hand on his shoulder and he looked at his great uncle with a frown.

“Dipper, relax. You’re going to be fine,” he said, and Dipper returned his gaze to the poster about teen suicide. The poster was stupid, saying “teenage suicide - don’t do it!” He rolled his eyes and tried to see if Bill was around. He wasn’t. He didn’t want to join Dipper. He said something about how therapy sessions were for losers and for fake people to get paid to care for sad people.

“Mason Pines?” A lady called, and Dipper stood up slowly. Ford gave him a small thumbs up and stayed seated. Dipper followed the woman into a small, beige room, with a desk and a bookshelf in it. It had more posters inside, mostly with hotlines and places to go when times are bad. Dipper took a seat by the woman’s desk.

She smiled, closing the door and sitting opposite Dipper. She typed something on her computer and nodded. “So, Mason. How have you been? It’s been awhile since you last visited, hm?”

Dipper nodded, cringing at the use of his real name. “I… don’t think therapy is for me, but my great uncle forced me to come here because…. Uh… I haven’t been taking my meds....” He mumbled, fiddling with the edge of his sleeve. He really wished Bill was here.

“Is there a reason for that?” She asked, opening to a new page on her notebook and started to write notes.

“I thought I was getting better,” Dipper said, his voice barely a whisper. “And I haven’t had time to take them…”

“Well, Mason, you know that you may start to feel better when you take the medication, but that simply means it’s working. I have a leaflet about taking pills if you want it,” she said, taking out a small leaflet from her desk and handing it to Dipper. He took it with a smile, but knew that it was going to go in the box with the rest of his booklets about dealing with stress and anxiety.

“So, aside from not taking your meds, how have you been…?”

“Not well… Everyone’s been on edge ‘cus it’s almost been a year since I tried to die,” Dipper said, taking a shaky breath as he prepared for the next question.

“And how does that make you feel?” She asked, and Dipper tried not to get angry. Every time, he either had to relive his suicide attempt or talk about how it made him feel. He just wanted to talk about… not that. And he was too nervous to ask to talk about something else. So he was left to cry about it all.

“Stupid. I should’ve died. Can we be done now?” He asked, looking up at the woman.

“Our scheduled time is an hour and a half, Mason. I’m afraid I can’t let you leave any earlier. Would you mind taking me through what goes through your mind when you think about your suicide?”

 

Dipper walked out of the room an hour and a half later, drying tears with the edge of his sleeve. He had at least four brochures on group therapy sessions, two booklets on dealing with emotions and the leaflet about medication. He walked over to Ford, who was reading a gossip magazine to pass the time. When he saw Dipper, he smiled and stood up, setting the magazine down.

“Everything okay?” He asked. Dipper just nodded and walked out of the building. He didn’t want to talk about his session - he never liked doing that. He assumed Ford was behind him when he got into the car, and tried to not think about what had just happened. He didn’t want to start crying again. Ugh.

The car ride home was an uncomfortable silence filled with the soft murmur of the voices on the radio. Dipper knew Ford wanted to say something, but he stopped himself every time. They passed the ice cream place and Dipper yearned to go in and get his vanilla ice cream. He sighed softly and looked down at the things he was given. They all said things he already knew, and he definitely wasn’t going to read them when he got home. The would be shoved with the rest in a box under his bed, along with a lot of other things he was given from doctors and hospitals and inpatient programmes he was in. They all were stupid. He turned up the volume of the radio and zoned out to the sound of Toby Determined talking about the daily bear attack count (it was currently at zero attacks today.) He turned his gaze out of the window, watching the trees and buildings pass by him. He really didn’t want to go to therapy anymore.

By the time they got home, Dipper headed straight upstairs to his room, and found Bill reading a book on his bed. Bill looked so calm and happy and Dipper was furious.

“Why didn’t you follow me today?” Dipper asked, closing the door and glaring at Bill. “Why weren’t you there? I-I tried to contact you but you never replied!”

Bill sat up, the book he was reading floated down onto the bed. “Huh? Oh, your therapy session… I’m sorry I didn’t come along,” Bill said quietly.

“I needed you there! For support! And you were just out here, reading?” Dipper paced his room and groaned. “I thought you could relate to me? Where were you when I needed you most, huh?”

Bill’s eyes widened and he froze. “Mason…?” He asked quietly, which caused Dipper to stop walking and to look at Bill in shock.

“Who… Who told you my real name?” Dipper asked, walking closer to Bill. “Was it Mabel? Ugh, she can’t even see you- wait, no one can see you! How do you know my name?”

“Uh… Stan… He was talking about your name earlier… on the phone,” Bill said, lying. He felt bad for lying to Dipper, but he didn’t want to make any bad decisions about… things. “Sorry… I’m sorry for not being there with you, but I promise to be with you for the next one,” Bill said, watching Dipper take out a box from under his bed. He opened it, shoved the papers he had inside and pushed it back under. He then laid on his bed and groaned.

“They keep asking me about my suicide attempt… Everyone does, and it’s getting annoying,” Dipper said, watching Bill move next to him. “I miss when people didn’t pretend to care about me…”

“How did you do it, though?” Bill asked, a little curious. He frowned at the look Dipper gave him and explained himself. “I just want to know. I used a gun. I had tried hanging myself but my mom saw me before I could actually die, so that didn’t work.”

Dipper was shocked at how casually Bill was talking about this all. He looked up at his ceiling. “Pills. I tried overdosing. Of course, Mabel came home early, saw I had passed out on the bathroom floor and called for help. I was then put through so many programmes and treatment plans to get me better again…” Dipper said softly, glancing at Bill.

“See, that’s where you went wrong. Pills take longer, I think. You gotta make it quick if you really wanna die. I stole my dad’s gun and boom. Pulled the trigger in my room. Of course, I woke up as a fucking ghost, so my plans for dying didn’t work…” Bill said, laying next to Dipper.

“Maybe you had unfinished business?” Dipper said, turning to raise an eyebrow at Bill. “That’s a thing, right?”

“Maybe… But I wrote letters to everyone telling them everything I wanted to say. I don’t understand why I’m still here…” Bill mumbled quietly. The two stayed quiet for a while, comfortable in each other’s silence. Dipper was beginning to come to terms that Bill was most probably a real ghost, and not something he made up. He was still cautious, though, and didn’t want to get too attached. He sighed when he heard his name get called from downstairs. He got out of bed, and with Bill following behind him, when downstairs for dinner.

Mabel smiled at her brother when he walked into the dining room, concerned at how his day went. By the looks of his tired eyes, not well. She sat next to her twin and tried to offer some help, but she was met with sharp comments and refuses. She missed the happy Dipper - the one who would talk about ghosts and the creatures in the forest with such passion it made her excited to go explore with him. Now, Dipper hardly left the house unless it was to go to school. Everything had changed a year ago, and Mabel was trying to fix up the broken pieces Dipper dropped behind him as he walked into the darkness blindly.

She scooped an extra serving of mashed potato on her plate and started up the conversation, like every other evening. It was about school. Candy had shown her a new band and she had loved it. She even mentioned that Dipper got the highest score in their history test. Stan and Ford were pleased. Dipper was just looking at the wall, almost like there was someone standing there. His eyes were glazed over, and he was just poking his fork into his potatoes.

She was trying her best to get her brother back. But it was hard. She refused to give up, though, and came up with an idea in her mind.

An idea that involved the person Dipper could see.

  


Sleep didn’t come easy for Dipper that night. He would wake up every twenty minutes, exhausted and annoyed. He couldn’t take any more sleeping tablets, either, so that was out of the window. He closed his eyes for the umpteenth time, and when he opened them again he was in a forest. A black and white forest, ones that seemed familiar, yet held a hint of unfamiliarity to them. Pine trees lined his view, and as he took steps forward the ground would distort and weave it’s way to create a path for Dipper. He pinched his arm, and frowned. Was he dreaming? Was this a lucid dream?

“Nah, you’re in the mindscape. At least, that’s what I’ve called it. Yours is way cooler than mine, though,” a voice spoke, and Dipper turned around.

“Bill?!” Dipper exclaimed, as Bill winked. Bill was standing on the ground, and he wasn’t translucent as Dipper remembered him to be. He wore a leather jacket with patches sewn onto the arm and chest area. He was shorter than what Dipper thought, but seeing as he wasn’t floating, it made sense. His jeans were rolled up, and he had an aura of confidence radiating off him.

“Checkin’ out the view, huh? I have no idea why I’m not a ghost here, but whenever I’m not around pestering you, I’m here!” Bill explained, walking over to Dipper. “Today was wild, Dip! Wheeew!”

Dipper looked around, a little confused about everything. “Am I sleeping?”

“Yeah, you’re sleeping. You’re just not resting as much here,” Bill said, resting an arm on Dipper’s shoulder. “You wanna see my mindscape?”

“Uh… sure…” It felt weird to have Bill _touch_ Dipper, but the weirdest part was when Bill changed the scene with a snap of his fingers.

They were now standing in what looked like Gravity Falls. A few of the shops were different, the names in a code Dipper couldn’t decipher in his mind. The ground beneath them glitched with each subtle movement they made, which caused Dipper to feel a little sick. Bill grabbed Dipper’s arm with a smile, dragging him down the street.

“So this is what Gravity Falls looked like back in my day! Hah! I sound real old when I say that. Anyway, so, the diner was my favourite place to hang out. Also it was the last place I hung out at before… uh… I died,” Bill explained, dragging Dipper to Greasy’s diner. It looked a little newer in Bill’s memories, though.

“Why is everything written weirdly?” Dipper asked, seeing the sign for the diner in the same code as from before. “Is it your mind doing that or…?”

“You bet! My mind is a real mess, Dip!” Bill said softly, and he looked at Dipper with a small sigh. “You know how I called you Mason earlier…? Well, you reminded me of an old friend I had. He… he meant a lot to me and you just give me similar vibes to him.”

“Really? What was he like…?” Dipper asked quietly. Bill snapped his fingers, and the scene changed to them in the diner. Dipper saw Bill sitting in a booth opposite a boy with messy brown hair and freckles all over his face. He guessed that the boy was Mason.

“You were amazing, Bill! I don’t understand why you didn’t win the talent show! Also, your dad was way too rude to you afterwards. Your performance was outstanding!” Mason exclaimed, leaning over to wipe away some cream from Bill’s lip. The scene paused suddenly, and Dipper glanced to Bill, currently sighing.

“We went to get milkshakes after I performed a piano piece at the school talent show. M-My father kinda ruined the night, though… So we ran off and hid here for a while…” Bill explained.

Dipper nodded. He looked back at the scene. “Mason seems nice…”

“He was… You have no idea,” Bill mumbled, before letting the scene play again.

“You’ll be a famous pianist one day, trust me!” Mason said, watching Bill touch his bottom lip. “I got the cream off, there’s nothing there anymore.”

Bill blushed darkly and nodded, smiling at his friend. “I-I know. Is it cool if I stay at yours tonight?”

“Of course it is! My mom is cool with it. She’s still kinda sick, but the doctors said she’s getting so much better! She’s love to see you again, Chip!” Mason said with a bright grin, and Bill couldn’t help but smile back. The dorky nickname Mason gave Bill was enough to let the butterflies return to him.

“Thanks, Mase, I owe you big time,” Bill said. The scene started to glitch out, voices going muffled and speaking in a language Dipper didn’t understand. Dipper glanced at Bill, who seemed to be crying. He gently placed a hand on Bill’s shoulder to try and comfort him. The scene changed yet again, and it merged into the outdoors, following Bill walking out of the forest. He shoved a sheet of paper in his pocket, having already delivered loads to his friends before. He had one left for one person - Mason.

Dipper looked at Bill for answers, but couldn’t see him anywhere. So he followed Past Bill.

Past Bill walked towards a house, but stopped when he saw his friend notice him and glare at him. (It _was Mason_ , Dipper noticed.) Bill rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve. He was shaking a lot, and his eyes were puffy and his face was red and blotchy. Mason didn’t notice.

“Where were you?” Mason yelled, walking over to Bill angrily.“Where the _fuck_ were you, Cipher?! I called your house so many times and each time your dad picked up, saying you weren’t there!”

“I was busy, sorry,” Bill mumbled, his hands shaking. He went to grab something out of his jacket pocket, but Mason started talking again.

“You know, when you need a friend to talk to, your friend should be there for you!” Mason said, taking a deep breath.

“What… What’s going on…?” Bill asked, holding a folded sheet of paper in his hands tightly.

“My mom is dying, Bill, a-and I tried to call you up because I needed someone to talk to about it, but nooo! You were off in the woods by the looks of it!” Mason yelled, before glancing down at Bill’s shaking hands. “What’s that?”

Bill moved his hands close to his chest, but Mason grabbed the paper out of his hands. He opened it, and was greeted to messy handwriting, written in the past tense. He read through it quickly and looked at Bill, anger going through his veins.

“Is this a fucking suicide note? Are you telling me you’re planning on _killing yourself_?” Mason spat, and Bill took a small step back.

“I-I… Mase, I j-just can’t anymore…” Bill stuttered out, tears forming in his eyes. “A-And this is shit timing because of your m-mom and I’m so sorry--”

“Do you know what I would give to keep my mom alive? Do you know what I would do? A-And here you are! Taking your life for granted! You’re gonna kill yourself when there’s nothing wrong in your life?!”

“My life is over, Mason! Everything’s gone to shit and y-you’re my last hope! My last chance…” Bill said, trying to keep himself together.

“Last chance for what? You probably have copies of the letters in your pocket, and you're probably gonna go show everyone else and tell them the same shitty story like last time!” Mason said, glancing from the letter to Bill. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

He started to turn away.

“Y-You really aren’t g-gonna stop me…?” Bill asked, tears now rolling down his cheeks.

“I’ll see you at school… Chip.”

 

Dipper woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dip getting shitty leaflets abt anxiety and stuff is what happened to me when i went to therapy lmao


	4. i hope hopeless changes over time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel wants to do better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for the lack of updates - i had 0 inspiration for this fic oof.  
> i would love to hear what you thinks going to happen!! also thank u for 1k hits too!!  
> sorry this chapter is so short too :c  
> ily all 
> 
> also there's mentions of Dipper's suicide attempt here, but its not detail, just implied!

Mabel had always been the bubbly, outgoing sibling. She was pretty popular in school, got reasonably good grades and tried her best to help everyone. So when she couldn’t help her brother, she felt like her life was over.

Seeing Dipper laying on the floor in the bathroom had broken her heart, because how the  _ fuck _ could she miss all the warning signs leading up to that? She sobbed down the phone to the 911 operator, and had to make the heartbreaking call to Stan and Ford that Dipper could die.

Rumours went around school that Dipper had finally done it when he didn’t go to school, and Mabel kept being questioned. She lost count of how many times she had to correct people. Pacifica was pissed that people were laughing about the whole situation. Dipper always got thrown into the shit end of things. She wished they could swap roles. She was strong enough to handle all the jeers and jokes that were thrown Dipper’s way. Maybe if they were in opposite places Dipper wouldn’t be in an inpatient treatment for a suicide attempt. 

When Dipper was released, and came back home with a cocktail of meds to take, as well as ways of self-helping himself and a box full of positive things. Mabel thought that they were going to be alright. 

Except nothing really goes right for Dipper.

His first day back at school caused Dipper to relapse. Mabel noticed, she always did. She noticed Dipper spent longer in the bathroom at night and that his eyes seemed glazed over and he didn't seem like his happy self. And it started to scare her again. She made sure to talk to him, let him know she was there. Dipper would nod and say that he was fine, but Mabel knew he was lying. 

She told their parents that she thought something bad was going to happen to Dipper, and they managed to get help before he did do anything stupid. This caused even more bullying from school.

Mabel tried to defend Dipper. She spent countless hours in the principal's office, explaining to him why she punched three guys, or why she screamed at a girl in the middle of class. She just wanted to help her brother.

People would mock Dipper’s obsession with the supernatural, saying he was crazy and laughing at him. Dipper would defend himself, but it made things worse. It would result in someone punching him, or pushing him up against a locker. He would have to lie and say he tripped over or walked into a lamppost.

So they asked to move to Gravity Falls to live with Stan and Ford. At first their parents were apprehensive, saying that they would need to change schools, and how annoying that would be. Mabel explained that they felt more at home in Gravity Falls, and Dipper would be a lot happier if they went there! It took a week of convincing, but they were soon living in Gravity Falls.

Dipper was happy, which meant Mabel was happy.

 

Since ‘Bill’ arrived, Dipper seemed more… like his normal self, in an odd way. Mabel caught him smiling a little as she passed his room, and swore she saw a blond haired figure sitting next to Dipper on his bed. It was weird, seeing Dipper so happy. She liked it. 

She would overhear Stan and Ford talking about ‘Bill’; Ford certain that Bill was a figment of Dipper’s imagination. Stan believed that maybe Bill was a ghost who attached himself onto Dipper for company. Ford had called up Dipper’s therapist to tell him what was going on, and Mabel would go to her room and want to tell Dipper everything. 

 

Dipper’s happiness seemed to spiral down, and he became more on edge with everyone. Ford reassured Mabel that Dipper would be back to normal once his meds kicked in. Mabel wasn’t so sure she believed him. She kept a close eye on him, as it was getting nearer to the day when he tried killing himself last year. She would ask if he wanted to bake cookies with her, or wanted to watch cartoons in the morning together. It was the little things that Mabel did that made Dipper feel better about himself. She wouldn’t ask about anything relating to Dipper’s mental health, instead deciding to ask him about the new ghost hunting show he was watching, or how his online friends were doing. She always wanted to ask about Bill, but knew that was a touchy subject. 

 

On the day that marked a year since Dipper’s suicide attempt, they both had the day off. She glanced at her brother, as they sat downstairs, huddled up under blanket and eating brownies they had baked earlier. They were watching one of the ghost hunting shows that Dipper enjoyed, and sat in a comfortable silence. Mabel noticed Dipper looked distracted, and was mumbling softly to himself. 

“Are you talking to Bill?” Mabel asked quietly, nudging Dipper. He jumped and looked at her with a small frown.

“Will… you get mad if it is him?” He replied softly, getting a little nervous. 

Mabel shook her head. “No, of course not. What… What is he saying?”

Dipper glanced to the side, nodded, and looked back at Mabel. “He’s talking about his friends sister. You remind him of her.”

“Really? That’s pretty neat,” she told him with a happy smile, looking over at the space next to Dipper. “Am I allowed to see him, yet?”

Dipper looked at the side again, and then looked at Mabel. “He… doesn’t know how to show himself to you…” He frowned, and Mabel assumed Bill was talking again. “There… might be a way, actually. But… how would you feel about Bill possessing me?”

Her eyes widened and she sat up straight. “Dip, that’s a really bad idea… Possession can have some nasty side effects…” 

He nodded softly, before looking back at the TV, becoming distant again. Mabel sighed, and did the same, feeling bad for Dipper. 

 

She wished she knew other ways to help.

She wished she could see Bill. 

 

By the time lunch came around, Mabel had ordered them both a pizza each. They were on season two of the show, and Dipper had been telling her more things that he and Bill were talking about. Mabel would get involved in their conversations, and she occasionally felt a cold draft move past her. When she did, she would ask Dipper if Bill was moving, and he would always say yes. She was starting to believe that Bill was an actual ghost and not something in Dipper’s mind.

She wondered if Bill would agree on trying to help get Dipper better with her. 

 

When Stan and Ford came home after grocery shopping, and they were happy to see that Dipper was still in one piece. Mabel smiled at them both as they walked inside, and told them what they had done all day. Mabel didn't leave Dipper’s sight all day long.

Dinner time was happy, for once. Dipper updated Stan and Ford on the ghost hunting show, and Mabel told them how she messed up ordering their pizza. 

She was sad when they went upstairs for bed, and gave Dipper the biggest hug and told him she loved him. She headed into her room and laid down on her bed with a sigh. She hoped Dipper wasn’t feeling bad. 

 

Dipper was fine. He sat on his bed and waited for Bill to walk over and sit on his desk chair. Bill smiled, and watched as Dipper laid down and went to sleep. He promised they could hang out in Dipper’s dreams, and that’s exactly what they did. 

**Author's Note:**

> idk where i'm going with this but if anyone has any cool ideas abt where this story could go that would be cool thanks
> 
> also comment and all that fun stuff i literally live for nice comments abt my fics xoxo i love u all :3


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